I am sick of saying "sorry" when I do not think I am at fault.
Why do I have to act by your emotions?
Every time you have to make things awkward, making me having no idea how to respond.
"Sorry" is the only I can say?
Why do I always have to be the bad one, the one making mistakes? Maybe at times it is true, but why do you always seem so personally offended? It happens to everyone, not just you.
Nonetheless, the things you complain over are so small... but you always make me feel like I have committed some great sin...
Stop calling me an idiot. Stop calling me a moron.
My turn to complain. I am sensitive too. I take words seriously too. Really insensitive of you to do so especially when I am pretty insecure about myself...
It hurts. And I would not care so much if you were not my close friend.
But I am at an exploding point. As you think so, I am not a nice person. That is just who I am. Human.
4.03.2011
3.07.2011
War.
So, today in my History Class, we watched this clip from an R-rated movie about WWII. I think it was the American soldiers fighting the Japanese? Don't remember the name of the movie.
But it was horrid alright.
People dying. Blood. Person today, gone next second you turned around. I was never really good with those kind of things, and it was really hard to sit through. The teacher was nice though, he did say that we can put our head down or go out to take a walk if the violence is too much. Somehow I thought I could do it...
But turns out it was not the blood I could not stand... It was the amount of emotional stress from watching the situation.
There was this one part where this soldier lay on the ground, his intestines falling out... and he cried "Mama! Mama!" constantly from the pain.
That was the point where I couldn't watch it anymore.
I felt like I was going to cry at the thought of that... so many families lost their sons because they went away to fight the war... so many sons homesick, scared, and hurt. They died without comfort and love on the cold battlefield. And I wonder what were the parents thinking? Their beloved sons at a place far far away... becoming ugly and disfigured. Dying without any honor. They cannot be there for him. They cannot hear him cry.
All I can say is that I hate war and violence even more now.
People kept on thinking about security... so they arm themselves up. Yet that's exactly why wars start. They feel like becoming more and more powerful can solve conflicts and bring peace to this world. That's really not it. Really. All I want to say is that War is for Wimps.
There are better ways to solve conflicts. Humans have mouths. They can talk. They can make a difference. Yet those who are scared that it will not work out use violence, bringing other people down along the way. I believe that War is not the ultimate decision, but the lazy way out.
If people in this world all trusted each other more, all disarmed themselves, that's when real peace is here. A World without war.
... It's impossible.
But it was horrid alright.
People dying. Blood. Person today, gone next second you turned around. I was never really good with those kind of things, and it was really hard to sit through. The teacher was nice though, he did say that we can put our head down or go out to take a walk if the violence is too much. Somehow I thought I could do it...
But turns out it was not the blood I could not stand... It was the amount of emotional stress from watching the situation.
There was this one part where this soldier lay on the ground, his intestines falling out... and he cried "Mama! Mama!" constantly from the pain.
That was the point where I couldn't watch it anymore.
I felt like I was going to cry at the thought of that... so many families lost their sons because they went away to fight the war... so many sons homesick, scared, and hurt. They died without comfort and love on the cold battlefield. And I wonder what were the parents thinking? Their beloved sons at a place far far away... becoming ugly and disfigured. Dying without any honor. They cannot be there for him. They cannot hear him cry.
All I can say is that I hate war and violence even more now.
People kept on thinking about security... so they arm themselves up. Yet that's exactly why wars start. They feel like becoming more and more powerful can solve conflicts and bring peace to this world. That's really not it. Really. All I want to say is that War is for Wimps.
There are better ways to solve conflicts. Humans have mouths. They can talk. They can make a difference. Yet those who are scared that it will not work out use violence, bringing other people down along the way. I believe that War is not the ultimate decision, but the lazy way out.
If people in this world all trusted each other more, all disarmed themselves, that's when real peace is here. A World without war.
... It's impossible.
2.25.2011
If you haven't noticed...
(from http://www.deviantart.com/#/d3ac8vg)
This thing totally spoke my heart :')
I have an owl ring too... maybe I should do a photo like this of my own.
2.24.2011
2.02.2011
Give me my Chicken back! D:
So... err, Chinese New Year dinner. My dad kept on commenting in front of my relatives how fat I am and not to eat this or that. Dinner only started for a few minutes and he told me that from then on I can only pick food from that one bowl of vegetables and no more picking meat.
I only got like. Three pieces of chicken. Thanks a lot dad, it was some wholesome CNY dinner.
Just wanted to rant.
-Owl
I only got like. Three pieces of chicken. Thanks a lot dad, it was some wholesome CNY dinner.
Just wanted to rant.
-Owl
1.30.2011
Snowball Birdies
Mom showed me in an email of 2010's top 10 animal pictures. This is one of them. I'm totally melted by this. They are so cute they look edible.
Where's the nice angel chorus? :O?
Being true to life
Today, I went to Mr. Castelaz, my art teacher's art show. I'm full regret that I didn't bring a camera to capture the moments.
It's titled "True to Life"
He had unique sculptures that were all created based on memories throughout his life.
I love how he incorporated bits of found items, like wood from the sea, some bead from a flea market at Rome, an old can from Japan, and even receipts he had collected over his 20 years at Taiwan...
For every piece he had a story to it. It was so moving. I like how he described his work.
I don't remember what was the exact words, but:
"The Jesus bust on top of my tv that always stared at me when I was a child... My grandma sitting on a chair... I sobbing behind the refrigerator for tripping my brother, who skinned his knee...
Those are small things... but we take pleasure in those memories because they are what is true to life."
:')
... After going to the art show, I walked home with mom. As we waited to cross the road, I talked to her about some of the random stuff that happens between my friends at school, and we did a silly laugh together.
I wonder, would that also be one of the small things I will smile at 50 years later?
Mr. Castelaz will be leaving my school next year. He's my first ever art teacher at this school.
I will really miss him.
It's titled "True to Life"
He had unique sculptures that were all created based on memories throughout his life.
I love how he incorporated bits of found items, like wood from the sea, some bead from a flea market at Rome, an old can from Japan, and even receipts he had collected over his 20 years at Taiwan...
For every piece he had a story to it. It was so moving. I like how he described his work.
I don't remember what was the exact words, but:
"The Jesus bust on top of my tv that always stared at me when I was a child... My grandma sitting on a chair... I sobbing behind the refrigerator for tripping my brother, who skinned his knee...
Those are small things... but we take pleasure in those memories because they are what is true to life."
:')
... After going to the art show, I walked home with mom. As we waited to cross the road, I talked to her about some of the random stuff that happens between my friends at school, and we did a silly laugh together.
I wonder, would that also be one of the small things I will smile at 50 years later?
Mr. Castelaz will be leaving my school next year. He's my first ever art teacher at this school.
I will really miss him.
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